ATTRACTING YOUR IDEAL PARTNER
“Why do I always pick the worst people to date?”
“All women are manipulative”
“All men are cheaters. That’t why I don’t date anymore.”
Have you ever said any of those things? You are not alone. Many of us have thought and said these exact things. Usually, in a moment of frustration. It is the little things we tell ourselves to justify why we aren’t in a great relationship and why we haven’t haven’t found our perfect match yet.
The truth is that ALL of us do want to find a companion, a best friend, a soul mate. It is hard wired into our DNA to want to do so. And sorry, if you are saying to yourself that it’s just not true for you… look a little deeper and be completely honest with yourself. You will discover that what you might really be saying is that you were hurt before. That you don’t want to feel that pain again. Or maybe you were the one that did the hurting and you don’t want to feel that guilt again. Either way, we as humans want companions in our lives. Not just friendships, but relationships on a deeper level.
If you look to your past and all of your failed relationships, you will notice a pattern of similar personality traits, values, morals, etc. This is because you have been attracting the wrong type of people into your life over and over again.
You read that correctly, you are the one responsible for attracting this person into your life. Now before you get too upset, no you are not responsible for them cheating on you, or being abusive to you, or any other crappy thing they may have done. But, you are the one that attracted them to you.
“So how do I attract the right type of person?”
Great question! Glad you asked it.
First thing first. You need to know exactly what you are looking for in an ideal partner. Get very clear on this! If you ask most people what their ideal partner looks like, you mostly will get vague answers such as: decent job, hard worker, good looking, makes me laugh. While all these qualities may be what you would like for your ideal partner to have, there will be much more to them than simply that. And you ALWAYS get exactly what you ask for! Meaning if you are vague about your ideal partner, then you will get a vague version of what you truly desire.
To truly attract your ideal partner you need to ask yourself more in depth questions.
Questions like: What values and morals does this person have? Do we share the same morals and values? Are they close to their family? How do they treat their friends? What are their closest friends like? Are they loyal? Do they show compassion? Are they full of judgement? What are their goals and ambitions in life? What are they most proud of?
These are the really important questions to answer. Ironically, in order for you to even think of your ideal partner, you will need to answer these questions for yourself. After all, how do you know if you share the same morals and values in life, if you are unsure of what your morals and values are!
Everything at this moment in your life is a mirror image of how you perceive yourself!
There is no way around it. We tell ourselves little stories about who we are.
“I am not a morning person.”
“I have trouble losing weight.”
“I always pick the worst people to date.”
“All men are cheaters.”
“All women are manipulative.”
And it goes on and on and on….
The stories you tell yourself on a daily basis eventually become your reality. Therefore, if you are always telling your self that you will never find your ideal partner, guess what? You won’t!
If you keep announcing to yourself and everyone else that all men are cheaters, guess what type of person you will attract into your life! A cheater! Then the same old cycle will continue on. You will feel hurt and betrayed and blame the other person for doing this to you in the first place. “Of course it is their fault.”, you will say. ” I didn’t ask for them to cheat on me!”
However, that is EXACTLY what happened! You did ask for the universe to deliver this to you, simply by telling yourself these little stories about you and your life that you perceive to be truth.
For some of you this may be a hard pill to swallow. You may have even experienced some sort of trauma as a result of attracting the wrong type of people into your life. For that I am sorry. But I will tell you honestly that the old saying is true that if you do not love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you.
Dig deep, and really see what it is that you are telling yourself yourself on a daily basis. Don’t be angry about it. Simply acknowledging and coming the understanding of how you have created your reality, is a very liberating experience.
Awareness is beautiful thing!
With awareness, you now have the capability to change it. To tell a new story and to begin creating and attracting your ideal partner to you! Just like magic!
Now, let’s start rewriting those stories!
Start by thinking of all the in depth qualities you would want in your ideal partner. Really take the time to think about it. You could even write out a list or record yourself. Get as specific as you like. In fact the more specific, the better. Get very clear on what it is that you desire. Have fun with it!
Next then turn the mirror on yourself and ask your self if you project any of these same qualities that you are seeking. If you aren’t then check yourself. Right now in this moment decide and choose to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be! Start being and acting on the qualities that you are seeking.
For example, if you want a truly honest person in your life, then decide to also be a very honest person. Now by being an honest person, I don’t necessarily mean that you go around lying to people all the time. It could also mean that you are not always honest with yourself about certain things. (Which in my opinion is worse than being dishonest with others!)
Decide and choose in this moment to be and act like the person you want to attract into your life. Just make the choice and do it. Start paying attention to all of the stories you tell yourself, if you don’t like them or would prefer something else, tell a different story.
For example: If you always tell yourself you have trouble sleeping at night, but you really do want a good night’s rest. Start telling yourself and others that you always get plenty of rest and always fall asleep easily.
Don’t misunderstand me, of course it will take some time to start believing the new stories and you may even resist it form time to time. This is normal. You are literally rewiring you brain and thought patterns by doing this seemingly simple act. It will get easier over time. The real trick is to fully immerse yourself in the feeling of the new story you have written. Back to the sleep example. Before you go to bed, tell yourself and really feel like you KNOW you are going to have a great night of sleep and will fall asleep easily.
It is the feeling that truly puts the new stories into action!
If you feel frustrated and stressed before you go to sleep, knowing you will struggle with a nights sleep, then you will never rewrite the story.
Similarly, If when you think of attracting your ideal partner you feel stressed and worried, or like “this will never happen” then you will be writing the story that it will never happen. No matter how many times you say something to yourself, it only works if you truly believe it, know it and simply trust that you are attracting it to you!
Now, go forth and write your amazing, beautiful, made just for you stories to create and attract the life you know you deserve, the ideal partner you KNOW you deserve!