Otherwise known as a Dominant, Master, Daddy, etc.
I could literally go into a tangent on what it means to be a real Dom versus a fake Dom… and I just might!
As well as what it means to be a real sub versus a fake sub.
(That might actually be my next course!
Be on the lookout for it.)
A real Dom is someone who truly cares about his submissive. He/She is someone who is in control of their own lives. They understand that the sub has given them permission to take control, NOT they have simply forced control over the sub. That is abuse by the way. If someone forces control over you and you have not given them permission to do so, it is abuse.
A real Dom is usually concerned about their appearance in the sense that they want to look put together…in control. They will be the type of person that is a natural leader. Their appearance will be neat and tidy and well put together. They will be in control of all aspects of their life, emotions, finances, family, occupation, sub, etc.
A real Dom also gets that he/she can be in control while still being polite. Being a Dom does not mean being a mean person or being rude. Afterall, that is sloppy, messy and NOT in control if one can not control their own behavior!
A real Dom will say things like : Get me a cup of coffee, please.
A fake dom will say things like: Will you get me a cup of coffee please?
Or Get me a damn cup of coffee!
A Real Dom understands that in order to be a respected Dom, he has a great responsibility to the sub and will take on the necessary tasks in order to do so.
A real Dom will ALWAYS respect the boundaries of the sub and if there is a contract (which there should be!) the DOM will respect the guidelines agreed upon. Including hard and soft limits and even punishments.
And lastly, I cant emphasize this enough… a real Dom knows that he has control over the sub because the sub has chosen him/her and given permission for the dom to have the control.
**** It should be noted that if you are a sub and you think you may be with a fake dom, leave. It is definitely not the situation you were looking for.