So, what do I mean by Love is a verb and not a noun?
I mean literally that! Love is an action that you willingly choose to do. Hence making it a verb. It is NOT a tangible item, that would make it a noun.
Remember back in school when we learned that a noun is a person, place or thing. Well, love is none of those things.
So why am I talking about this now? Well simple. All too often, I hear others say things like,” But I don’t love her anymore.” Or, we just aren’t in love with each other like we used to be” I got news for you, if you don’t love someone anymore, its because you have chosen Not to continue with the act of loving them. It is not that they have changed so much as person, or that you don’t feel “connected” anymore. It is simply that, for whatever reason, YOU have chosen not to love them at this moment.
Think of it this way, I can choose to skip for someone or to not skip for them. Skipping is a verb. It is an action that I can choose to do or not to do. If your friend came up to you and said,
” we aren’t together anymore because I just don’t skip for him anymore.” You might be confused.
” Is that the reason, because you don’t skip for him anymore?”
“So if you skipped him, you would still be together?”
“Yes, but I don’t skip for him anymore.”
“Do you wish you could still be with him?”
“Yes, but I don’t skip for him anymore. It makes me sad. I used to skip for him so much, but now, nothing.”
“Then why don’t you just skip for him!”
It sounds silly when you realize that love is a verb like in the above conversation. Now look at that conversation again and replace the word skip with the word love.
The point is, if you choose to not love someone anymore. Know that is your choice. Please do not put that on the other person. It is not due to them doing this that or the other thing. They are simply being themselves. We are all changing and evolving as we go through life. It is normal and a natural process. The person you met at first and decided to love is NEVER going to be the same person in one, two, or even five years.
Being with someone in a relationship is a process. It really is CHOOSING to LOVE them on a daily basis.
Now, I know that of course there are circumstances that of course, you would choose to not be in a relationship with someone anymore. There are differences in morals and values. And also instances of abuse. And it should be noted that in cases of abuse, if you choose to stay, that is YOU choosing to NOT love yourself at the moment. I know, I have been there myself! But, in every situation you can think of, you can still choose to love the other person. It is your CHOICE.
No that doesn’t mean they will choose to love you back with the same intensity or that they will even choose to love you at all. Nor does that mean that the other person will treat you the way you think they should or make the same decisions given the same circumstances that you would.
It means that to love another person is a choice that YOU make on a daily basis without judgement for their actions or non actions. To truly love someone else, to put that verb into action, is to simply LOVE ALL of them. Understand that they are human and are also going to do things differently that you might. And that’s ok. (aside from the abusive situations. It should go without saying that you should ALWAYS be loving yourself first.)
So, the next time you find yourself saying, thinking or even feeling that you don’t love your partner anymore, STOP. And that is the exact moment that you should LOVE them.